What is it like to live a “CrazyDogMama Life”? Well, let me share. It’ll be fun.
Before I start, I have to say this. I am constantly on the internet looking at stuff. All kinds of stuff. I love and have favorite bloggers, but lately I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed in the blogging world. When I started WAY back in 2003 on Blogger, Web-Logging or “Blogging” was a way to write or ‘journal’ online about anything that interested you – what you were doing, what you wanted to do, or just a place to rant and rave about whatever. It wasn’t a pre-scripted, edited or professional layout about what was trending or popular, or a place to sell your brand – it was just about WRITING. There were young people, old people, mommy bloggers, dog bloggers, fitness bloggers – all the same stuff, really, but there were no rules. I fucking hate rules. No one knew what SEO was, and no one cared. It’s all about making money now – which is all fine and good, I’d like to make some too, but that’s not all it should be about. We’ve lost something. I want to bring it back. I think there are some really awesome people out there, interesting people, that just don’t have a chance anymore in this ad-infested and competitive blog world unless they can devote their entire life to it. The worst thing? Hardly anyone leaves authentic comments anymore – it’s all about just sticking your brand in there so you can get traffic, IF you leave a comment at all. I’ve met people through my old blog that I still, to this day, keep in touch with – even though I’ve still never met them in person. I know there are big blog conferences now, and all kinds of fun things for bloggers to do, but if you aren’t blogging for a living, those things are hard to get to; almost impossible. Yes, unfortunately there are bloggers out there that irritate the shit out of me – but that’s nothing new. That’s life. Honestly, I don’t hate Mommy Bloggers (although this post cracked me up by a fellow fed-up blogger), what I hate is being FAKE. Stop trying to prove to the world how perfect you are and how awesome your life is. Bitch, please. I still very much want to be a Blogger, but I’m gonna have to do it MY way. I tried to conform, but in the end, conforming doesn’t make me happy. Being CrazyDogMama makes me happy. But in all that happiness, I am just as fucked up and insecure as you are. Probably more so. I promise. But let’s be fucked-up together, K? It’s not a competition. You don’t have to be a single, dog-loving, childless cussing fool to be my friend – you can just be YOU.
Box Subscriptions, Really?
You are probably thinking that I’ve sold out. CrazyDogMama is just a box subscription reviewer now. NOPE. While it’s true that I have an addictive personality and am obsessed with boxes at the moment, this is HARDLY what I want to be known for. I can’t keep up anyway. There are way too many other (bigger) bloggers out there who post their reviews the day they get their boxes, with better info, better pictures and they have fucking COUPONS for you that I can’t provide because I am new at it, only have 2 affiliates and basically do reviews for no money or personal gain whatsoever. I just like STUFF. I’m not particularly materialistic (or at least not until now), I think I’m just going through a phase (let’s hope so for the sake of my bank account), so bare with me if it isn’t your thing. I even think I’m going to change-up how I review boxes, too, because it just feels too corporate-like to me doing it how the big-dogs do it. I need to do it more casual. More CrazyDogMama. So there goes my traffic – lol – what little there is.
Life with Jack the Cairn Terror
So what am I actually doing this evening? Sitting up with my puppy at 3 a.m. who won’t stop choke-coughing. He probably has goddamned Kennel Cough or something. Two weeks ago, my 10-week old puppy that I’m trying to be the BEST dogmama I can to, ate something bad in the yard (he eats EVERYTHING except what he’s supposed to), and started puking every 3 minutes or so and wouldn’t stop. He then started refusing all food, wouldn’t play and was just hurling his little guts out. There was a bunch of yard debris in his puke (not good), then there was just foam and bile, but he still kept vomiting, vomiting, vomiting. I panicked and took him to the vet at noon on a Saturday. Of course they did x-rays, an ultrasound and had to re-hydrate him so he didn’t die. They couldn’t find anything specific, and he didn’t have a fever or bloody stools, but the vet said that if they couldn’t get him to stop vomiting in the next few hours, that they would be recommending stomach surgery at the local emergency pet hospital. Awesome. My anxiety disorder kicked into high gear and I was suddenly a wreck. The dog couldn’t get sick on a Monday, no, he had to wait until Saturday afternoon when the vet was closing at 3. Perfect.
Thankfully the vet successfully got him to stop vomiting with some anti-nausea injections before they closed, so I got to take him home and watch him for 48 hours straight – prepped to take him to emergency if necessary. He didn’t get any worse, and I meticulously inspected his poop to make sure he passed all the stupid stuff he ate. Yes, this is my life now, inspecting dog poo. It’s fun! So, no surgery, we lucked-out this time around. However, there were still consequences to this little episode. I paid a nice $600 bill (thank you JESUS that I had the sense to buy Pet Insurance the day after I got him – Pet Plan – they are awesome), but I still couldn’t get the little fucker to eat to his food – or at least eat enough for a growing puppy. He would no longer touch the [very expensive] kibble I bought, nor was he all that excited about the wet food the vet gave me to calm his stomach down. He even spit treats out. Did I mention he eats his poo? Yeah, so he would rather belly-up on his own shit, than eat his $30-a-bag premium dog food. I tried everything. Ground hamburger, pumpkin, pineapple (for the poop-eating) and finally had to put Karo syrup on his gums because his blood sugar was so low. Nothing worked. For the next two weeks I pulled my hair out trying to get my damn dog to eat. He started to get skinny – I could feel his little rib cage sticking out. AAAHHHH! I was beginning to feel like an epic failure as a dogmama, and worried something horrible was going to happen to my little pup.
We ended up having to take a spontaneous road trip (Dale had a family crisis) and since Jack (lovingly referred to now as ‘the little asshole’) hasn’t finished his shots yet, we can’t take him to doggy daycare, so off he went with us in the car. Of course the 5+ hour car ride didn’t help his appetite, either, although he is a good little traveler for the most part – except that it takes him approximately 2 hours to go potty. Maggie (my former Cairn Terrier) would potty on queue, so this whole walk around and sniff for days has me frustrated too, to say the least. But I digress. I packed a bunch of different food items and treats (everything I had in my pantry) for him, but he wasn’t interested in any of it. On the way home, I tried the last two items I had – samples (from a locally owned pet store I go to) called Primal Freeze Dried Nuggets. We had Jack in his crate in the back seat (for safety and sanity), and I crawled back there to talk and coo to him while I opened the samples. As I did, he stuck his nose through the bars on the crate and started pawing to get out. Not typical – he usually just sits there and looks at me like I’m retarded. I thought he probably had to go pee or something, but when his tongue stretched out toward the package I was opening, I was stunned. I broke off a piece and he nearly bit my fingers off. Swallowed it whole. I was super happy he was eating, but figured he was just starving and anything would do at this point. He ate both samples and started whining for more. As soon as we got home, I promptly went and bought a bag, plus some freeze dried chicken heart treats. Apparently dogs go nuts for freeze dried animal organs, and it is extremely good for them! I had thought about the “Raw” diet previously, but it is just WAY too much of a hassle – until they came out with freeze dried raw food. This I can handle. It is just cubes you break apart, and add a little water. Easy to buy, easy to make and easy to travel with. Expensive, though, but no more than what I was already paying for kibble. Kibble I found out, even high quality brands without grains/gluten, is still not all that great and causes nutrient-lack (explains the poop-eating) and dental plaque. Freeze Dried animal organs on the other hand, have TONS of nutrients and you’ll never have to brush their teeth. BONUS! All that being said, HE LOVES IT. I can get his attention now by just shaking the bag. I was starting to wonder how the hell I was going to train him with his non-interest in treats. Problem solved. He literally does back-flips for this shit. Yesterday he finished his lunch just inside of a minute, and proceeded to keep licking the bowl. And get this; while he was licking the EMPTY BOWL, he took a dump. Yes, that’s right, he didn’t bother to take a break and go outside to eliminate, he crapped while obsessing over tiny remnants left in his dish. I’ve never seen a dog do that in my whole entire life. So, I’m feeling better about the eating issue now, but he has started this coughing thing now over the last few hours, and I’m guessing he picked something up from the road trip. Gah! It’s always something. And OF COURSE it is now SUNDAY and Monday is a motherfucking holiday. Can’t get to the vet until Tuesday, and I’m not taking him to emergency unless he starts convulsing or something. I love him something fierce, but good GOD he is a pain in the ass! LOL!
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